When I first made the decision to come to India for a year, specifically rural Karnataka, a lot of people raised their eyebrows at the choice. I am third-generation American, meaning my parents and I were born and raised in the United States. My parents and I grew up in the rural Midwest, very different from the Indian-centered communities of New Jersey, the Bay Area, and Chicago suburbs. While I have always been Indian by blood, culture, and religion, my upbringing means I am pretty different from other Indian-Americans. For example, my family is Telugu, but I cannot speak or understand any part of the language, while my parents have minimal conversational Telugu. So, when I made the decision to go to rural India, complete with mud houses and Indian-style toilets, a lot of people questioned my ability to be successful personally and professionally. A lot of this mentality also comes from this idea that “we left the country to give you a better life, why do you want to go back?”. That is the mentality most people in my family took, since they see India as a place of the past for our family, while America and the West are the future.
However, for me, the opportunity to come to India, especially South India, has been an incredible opportunity to reconnect with my culture and heritage. I am a Banyan Impact Fellow at Kalkeri Sangeet Vidyalaya, a residential music school in Northern Karnataka. The students here live very simple lives, coming from nearby villages. I have family across Andra Pradesh, Karnataka, and Telangana, so to be placed in an area similar to how my grandparents grew up in India was very important to my personal journey while completing this fellowship. Here, I have been able to truly connect with my Indian origins in a way that I never knew was possible.
One of the most important moments on my personal journey throughout India was when my parents and grandma came to visit India for my grandfather’s one year death anniversary. My thata had immigrated to America in 1969, and when he passed away, we were unable to plan anything in India. I met with my entire family in Bangalore, a city also in Karnataka, but a very different vibe compared to the village of Kalkeri. My parents repeatedly talked about how they could see that I was different than when I left the United States, and how the changes they saw were good. It was really funny to see how certain things I was better at than my parents, such as crossing the busy road, navigating traffic, and bargaining at the market. My grandma (avva) also came and visited KSV, where she met my coworkers, the students, and my friends. This was such a fulfilling moment for me, as it felt like the truest representation of my Indian and American identities colliding. This was especially wonderful because my avva is from Bellary, so she grew up speaking Kannada and Telugu, meaning she could communicate with the students in their first language.
The most valuable thing I have gotten out of my time in India thus far is that I am closer to my grandparents and extended family. Being in rural India has given me a much better understanding of what their lives were like growing up, and my experiences here have made me feel much more connected to them. I also feel much closer to my own identity. Getting to live in India, work with India staff, and become close to the students at the school has reaffirmed my personal identity in a way I never knew I needed. Growing up surrounded by Indian people in the United States is not the same as being in an Indian environment in the country itself. I find myself continuously blown away by the sense of community at the school, and the way people care for one another with so much compassion and kindness. These are central aspects of my India experience I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
On a deeply personal level, my time in India has fundamentally changed me and my relationship to my cultural identity. Throughout my university experience I was continuously denied access to Indian spaces because I wasn’t “Indian enough”, and this language was something I began to internalize. My time in India has showed me that identity is something deeply personal, and no one call tell you what you are versus what you are not, only you can. It takes one being comfortable in themselves and their position to properly label their identity. For me, my time in India, especially with seeing my family around the halfway point, has positively impacted my life in ways I cannot wait to see once I am back in the United States.
