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November 15, 2011

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

lorenznoe Fellowship

As indicated by the title, I’m still not quite sure what happened over the last three months. Here I was, minding my own business in the States, recovering after a lovely bout with traveling after graduation and suddenly, I was whisked away to a country I had never been before and into an environment unlike any I had ever been before. The first few weeks were fun, hanging out with other fellows, all of whom I hope to visit. Settling in was stressful at times, but ultimately much easier than it could have been. Even work went well, and it continues to go well.

However, I may have reached a point where I can safely say that I’ve arrived. The past few weeks have started to blur together, as work has me working late, reducing my work week to a rhythm of up early, work all day, and three hours after work  before it’s off to bed to do the same thing again. This is not to say that I do not enjoy my work. I have gotten extremely lucky in my placement, as I enjoy the work I do and the people I get to work with. Nevertheless it can get overwhelming. Even for the rest of my experience here. The sense of newness is ebbing away slowly as I approach the time of the stay in which I have lost the newcomers fascination with everything but have not acquired the urgency of one who is counting down the days to departure. For now, and for many parts of this stay, I will just exist. Again, this is not to demean any aspect of my stay, my work, etc, but is only meant to signify the shift in perspective. Even with the structured nature of college life, I never thought of myself as having a rhythm. However, now, this rhythm has me in its grasp and it has taken some getting used to. Mostly, the dreamer in me thinks “is this all there is?” Getting up, going to work, going home and doing it all again. Of course my weekends defy this perception, as I get to travel a lot and any visit to less wealthy parts of Delhi have that little voice in my head saying “Shut up, your life is great”. And it is, but it’s different now than it used to be and the part of me that hates change is rearing its head.

However, the feelings described in the paragraph above are in the minority, even if they’re more vocal nowadays. Most of the time I still sit in autos and when I snap out of my day-dreaming, realize with a start that I’m in India. I don’t see this ever ebbing away or, if it does, I need a change of scenery. The country and even city of Delhi has so much to explore that whenever I feel tired, I’m probably not doing something right. On that note, I look forward to spending a few days in Uttarkhand next week as part of a “hurray we’re done with a major project” excursion with some co-workers. Also, I will finally check off the Taj Mahal from my list-of -places-I-must-visit list after returning to Delhi and going straight to Agra..

Sorry for the incoherence, but, as my flatmates will tell you, I have not been making a lot of sense recently. Gotta go to bed now, work calls…

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  • lorenznoe
    lorenznoe
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lorenznoe

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