This is the first of a series of letters I started to write for my son Ishaq reflecting on my 10 month Banyan Impact Fellowship experience.
Dear Son,
I want you to understand why I missed so many beautiful moments with you, why I couldn’t stay near, to play, drop you off to school, or travel with you, which I know you love the most. I want to share my experience and reflections from my Fellowship journey with the American India Foundation (AIF). I believe these reflections will inspire you.
I joined this Fellowship program because I wanted to take a pause and find a more focused goal in my life. When I realised I would have to be in Gujarat for 10 months, I was full of confusion and concerns about the food, travel, language, and most of all, not being able to take you with me. I will write in detail about each exploration in my letters. Consider this the first in a series. Today, I’d like to share a reflection from the beginning of the Fellowship.
Do you remember when I was flying to the AIF Banyan Impact Fellowship orientation conference in Delhi? You dropped me off at the airport, and I went to board the flight. I had a red eye a week before and still had some redness. I was wearing my cooling glasses. When the flight attendants at the check-in point asked why I was wearing them, I told them about my red eye. They got nervous and immediately stopped me from boarding. I was very confused as this was my first experience of this sort. They reported my name with a red eye problem and told me to come back with a doctor’s certificate to travel.
“Why did you say you had a red eye?” was the question I heard from most people. I didn’t want to say it, but it just happened in the moment. I went home, consulted a doctor, and he asked me to collect the certificate the next day. I contacted the AIF team, and they booked another ticket for me. The next day, armed with the certificate, I went through security and met a friend who works in Punjab. During our conversation, he noticed the remaining redness in my eyes and offered me his glasses. He said there was a chance co-passengers might get scared, but I was confident enough to travel this time.
Until then, I was blaming myself for being honest and missing the earlier flight. But now, I realized that honesty is always the best policy. Even though I faced difficulties due to the cancellation, with the doctor’s certificate, I was confident I was not causing any harm to others. If I had not been stopped from traveling initially, I would have continued the journey with a restless mind, constantly doubting myself, trying to hide the redness, and fearing someone might notice and ask questions. That journey would have been miserable and filled with anxiety.
Moreover, the redness in my eyes stayed for some more days during the orientation. If I had not consulted the doctor and ensured that the redness was not contagious, I would have been worried about spreading it to others. I would have hesitated to participate in group activities and make new friends.
In moments like these, I am reminded of a profound truth: “Perhaps you dislike something which is good for you and like something which is bad for you. Allah knows and you do not know.” (Quran 2:216).
So, my son, what I want to tell you is that sometimes things happen in our lives that may seem unfortunate, but they could be blessings in disguise. Being open and honest makes our life experiences easier. There are many more experiences I have to share with you about the Fellowship, from learning Gujarati and a 2-month search for a home, to exploring food and culture. Keep an eye out for the next letter!
With love,
