What I love most about India so far is that my problems become everyone’s problems. Now I’m not saying (at least, outright) that I’m an aspiring narcissist, but in just two months it’s been remarkable to witness complete strangers’ willingness to help with any and all roadblocks I faced in settling into Jaipur. For instance, when I first arrived in Jaipur with my co-fellow and now flatmate Tenzin, I was sure I’d have to cling to her socially like a lifeboat in an ocean of strangers. How else would I have any social interactions in a completely new city, halfway across the world from the only country I’d ever lived in? While I was lucky to be placed in a metropolis, I had no idea how I would get to know other Jaipurites, find a flat on my own, and even navigate small tasks like finding a nearby grocery shop or an ATM that would accept my card. Little did I know how easy making friendships would be in India.
During my first two weeks in Jaipur, I stayed in a women’s PG (“Paying Guests,” an Indian housing set-up that operates like a dormitory external to a university) above my host organization’s office. The building is currently under construction, so entering the PG requires clambering over a small pile of rubble and climbing a cement staircase with no wall to the right, just open space covered by a tarp. I was too full of trepidation to leave my room the first day, so I hunkered down for the evening. (Not that this allowed me to completely sequester myself away from my surroundings, given the mice I kept hearing skittering above my ceiling and the way my AC was clattering in a way I didn’t quite appreciate.)
The next evening was a completely different experience, though. I stepped into the hallway and ran into two girls my age, Priyanka and Aru. To my surprise, they immediately invited me into their room, where they enthusiastically asked about where I was from, why I was here in India, and even about what my parents were like (they even asked for photos and shared family pictures of their own!). After talking for over an hour, I realized what a welcome change this was from New York City, where I had learned while living there for college that to even make eye contact with a stranger could be an invitation for trouble. Instead, Priyanka and Aru showed me warmth and a willingness to get to know each other beyond superficialities and small talk.
A few days later, I forced myself to face the seemingly behemoth task of finding a flat. At first I had no idea where to start, but soon my coworker Pragnya, who is a few years older than me, got wind that I was househunting. She immediately sent me the numbers of three different brokers, a list of the best neighborhoods in Jaipur, and links to several flats currently up for rent. I was taken aback that someone I had just met would invest so much time into making sure I found a flat soon, but I had no idea just how much Pragnya and her boyfriend Aditya would take me under their wing.
While on the phone with both our broker and our potential future landlord, Tenzin and I quickly realized that we would find it difficult to negotiate our terms because neither of us were comfortable enough in Hindi. We stepped away to call Pragnya with a question about a particular condition in the contract. Instead of simply answering our question, Pragnya offered to talk to the broker directly. She then rang Aditya, who was more familiar with the Jaipur housing market, and although we had never met in person he hopped on the call as well. What ensued was in sitcom fashion: Tenzin and I found ourselves holding our phone’s speakers to each other, with our broker and landlord in Tenzin’s phone and Pragnya and Aditya in mine, the four of them negotiating back and forth in rapid-fire Hindi while Tenzin and I sat back peacefully and observed the melodrama unfold. (I can’t speak to Tenzin’s exact thoughts in that moment, but I, for one, was wishing we had popcorn.)
Even more surprising to my American sentiments was that the next day, Pragnya accompanied us on a nearly three-hour jaunt around Jaipur as we traveled with our broker to get our contract notarized, meet our landlord in person, and pay our first month’s rent. This kind of graciousness, this willingness to step outside oneself and embrace the events in other people’s lives as one’s own, is not something I’ve witnessed often in America. I feel immensely grateful to be able to experience it here in India, and hope to pay it all forward someday soon.
A few weeks later, Pragnya and Aditya invited me on an early morning hike, where they introduced me to their extended friend group. Sitting at the summit, munching on kachoris someone had brought for the group, all I could think about was how lucky I felt to be living in this collectivist culture. The sun was rising, and my new friends were starting a card game around me. I was going to be okay.
